I farted

I'm dying here...

Feghoot is a short story or joke that ends with word play... so I offer you...

King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnpoker, to ask for a loan.

Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."

"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"

Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."
The Doctor

One from Cloumn A for ravena_kade

Title: Rescue Mission
Genre: Man from UNCLE, Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Word count: 2260
Prompt: Illya, Donna, Mysterious footsteps

ravena_kade, I hope you enjoy your little tale and my thanks, as always, to sparky955 for her beta help.

Donna Noble still didn’t know why the TARDIS had brought her here. She’d been picking out some crystal roses for her room when the TARDIS suddenly materialized in the center of the path. They’d left it in the backroom of a warehouse and set out to explore the city. She expected The Doctor to pop out and complain that she was late, but after a few minutes of nothing, she used her key and walked in.

She managed to get, “Doctor, are you--?” out when the TARDIS shuddered and took off. Donna was terrified, but all she could do was hang on, hope for the best and shout his name over and over again.
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minion hula

For Stardust1161

1) Brothers: 2
2) Sisters: 1
3) Pets: 5 or so
4) Surgeries: 3
5) Tattoos: 0.
6) Piercings: 0
7)🌴 Been to an Island: many times.
8)✈️ Flown on a Plane: again, many times.
9)🚑 Rode in an ambulance: I have
10)⛸ Ice Skating: nope
11)🚢 Been on a Cruise: Yup, mostly on Princess
12)🏍 Rode a Motorcycle: No.
13)🏍 Owned a Motorcycle: No.
14)🐴 Rode on a horse: when I was a kid
15)🚓 Rode in police car: No.
16)🏥 Stayed in a Hospital: yes
17) 👀Eye Color: brown
18)📱 Last phone call: Barb
19)☕ Coffee: absolutely
20)🥧 Favorite pie: blueberry, I think
21)🍕 Favorite pizza: Hawaiian
21)🐕 Favorite Dog: border collies
22)🌺Favorite season: Fall
23) Favorite holiday: Halloween
24) Favorite sport: curling
25)👮♂️Ever been handcuffed: no
26) 🍉Favorite Fruit: papaya, mango, and pineapple
27)💍 Are you married: for nearly 40 years
28)🍺 Beer: no thanks. I prefer wine
29) Can you drive a tractor: I can
30)🚛 Can you drive stick: If I have to.
31)🛤 Have you traveled by train: I went from Stockton to Fresno once.
32)🚁 Have you ridden in a helicopter: I have many times
33)🌉Do you live in a city: Yup.