Title: The Frack You Affair Genre: Man from UNCLE Rating: PG Word count: 7555 My thanks to sparky955 for her beta, support, encourage and a kick in the ass when I needed it. To read the whole story, just click on the title. Prologue “Okay, this is the worst of the worst.” Sammy, The Toe, Jimson was not a happy camper. He poked a piece of trash and deposited it into a sack. “Who cares if America is beautiful?” “You’re just bitter because you got caught. Should have thought of that before trying to joyride in your old man’s car.” Derek Kingston had been in the same high school class as Sammy, but his path led to a much different career choice. While Sammy pursued the easy way of making a buck, Derek earned it the hard way, punching a clock, doing his time. That’s why Sammy was doing community service work now and Derek was wearing a deputy badge, and currently acting as Sammy’s overseer. Life was funny like that. Sammy added another chunk of aluminum foil to his sack. “Why are people such slobs?” Derek spit out a mouthful of tobacco juice, grimacing as it splattered back on his dusty shoes. “Because we have people like you to clean up after them.” Sammy, however, successfully dodged the foul brown liquid. “Nice, Derek.” He stumbled and caught himself before he tumbled into a pile of clothes. He was no expert, but even he could tell quality clothes when he saw them. “Crap, Derek, can we keep what we find?” He held up the jacket and shook the dried grass from it. “Keep looking. Maybe you can find some pants to go with them.” “They’re here--” He reached out and then gave a squeal of surprise. Derek laughed. “You scream like my baby sister.” He sobered at Derek’s terror filled expression. “What is it?” “A bo… body, I think.” Derek became all business. He half slipped his way down into the drainage ditch and cautiously reached out with his foot. It jiggled like an under-filled water balloon. “That ain’t no body… it’s a joke…” Then it moaned and Sammy leapt back. “Shit,” he yelled. “It’s alive.” “Worse than that.” Derek held up a slender brown wallet with a gold ID card. “It’s an UNCLE.” From a short distance away, a man dropped a bottle into the bag he carried and smiled as he overheard the two talking. This was going even better than he planned.