A Wish I'd said that for kaishinmystik
Title: Off the rack
Genre: Addams Family (and a little MFU thrown in)
Rating: G
Word Count: 906
Prompts: "This too shall pass" (her quote)
As you're browsing through a rack of sweaters, someone approaches you and says, I need you to listen to me very carefully. (my prompt)
My thanks to
kaishinmystik and my beta. I hope you enjoy this.
Shopping was usually something that Morticia enjoyed, but not when it took her to a run-of-the-mill department store. What good was a store that didn’t carry whips, chains, branding irons or other accoutrements for the bed chamber?
Even worse was the lack of creativity with the clothing. These were all so bright and, she shuddered, cheerful.
She needed the perfect gift for Fester and he’d asked for one gift in particular. He wanted a turtleneck sweater just like Illya’s. She smiled at the thought. Both agents had been quite kind to Fester, permitting him to play at espionage while keeping him safe from any real danger.
“This, too shall pass,” she said to herself, just as his desire to be a real estate agent, a brain surgeon, a stuntman and a host of other dubious career choices had. In the meantime, there were Napoleon and Illya to show Fester the way.
She glided to a rack of men’s sweaters and began to go through them. They were an explosion of color, red, orange, and heaven help her, purple. She felt a presence behind her and sighed. Sales clerks were always so pushy.
“I need something black in an extra-large.”
“I need you to listen very carefully to me or someone will get hurt.”
“I beg your pardon.” She started to turn and something was shoved into her back. She smiled demurely.
“You’ve done that before.” She glanced around as much as she could without moving her head. Shoppers were going about their business and paying no attention to her. Then she caught sight of the person behind her in the highly reflective surface of the metal clothes rack and smiled just a bit evilly.
“Listen, lady, you are going to tell us what you know or tears will start flowing.”
“Oh, how delightful.” Morticia wasn’t afraid of a little adventure. “What do you want, mon mechant?”
There was a shudder and then, “If it’s villainy you want…” Something was thrust forward, at waist level. “Here, take this and check out.”
She glanced down and gasped happily. “Why this is exactly what I was looking for. I’d be delighted to. Where did you find it? All of these are so brightly colored.”
“No questions. Just do it!”
“Of course. It will be mon plaisir. Then what?”
There was a long pause. “What? Mon what?” The voice sounded strangled
“Villain. After I purchase this, what next?”
“Oh, um, wait in the alley. You will be contacted there.”
“But, of course.” With a laugh, she spun, but she was quite alone. A bored looking clerk approached.
“May I help you, madam?”
“Yes, the gentleman who was with me?”
“I saw no one, madam.”
“I see. I would like to purchase this, please.”
“It’s a bit late in the season for black. Don’t you want something a bit more gay and bright?”
“No, this is for my uncle. I’m afraid black is as gay and bright as he gets.”
Morticia hurried from the store and looked left and right. Immediately she spotted Lurch, waiting by their Towncar. Strangely enough, he always found a convenient parking space. She walked quickly to him.
“Lurch, would you be good enough to let Mr. Addams know I am waiting for him in the alleyway?”
“Pardon me, ma’am?” Lurch looked confused.
“Mr. Addams, he was just in the store with me.”
Lurch slowly shook his head and glanced at his watch. “Attorney’s office until noon.”
“Nonsense, I just saw him inside the store.” She held up a bag. “He had me purchase this for Fester.”
Again, Lurch shook his head and she made a face. Lurch opened the car door and instead she thrust the bag at him. “I’ll go myself.”
Anger made her move even quicker than usual and she paused in the alley, looking around. There was no sign of movement, except possibly for some rodent activity by one of the dumpsters.
“Gomez, this isn’t funny.” She tried to stamp her foot, but it didn’t help. She walked the length of the alley, twice, and finally went back to the car. The bottom of her dress was caked with mud and something else she preferred not to dwell upon.
“Take me home, Lurch.”
“Yes, Mrs. Addams.” Lurch held the door for her and made sure she was settled before casting a furtive look at the entrance of the department store. He nodded slightly and took his seat behind the wheel.
The pair watched the Towncar pull away and get lost in traffic.
“Told you I could pull it off. With the right light and accent, you can make anything happen.”
“I don’t know. I still don’t see it.”
“We probably do owe Gomez an explanation, though.”
“He’s tough; he can handle it. And Fester gets what he wants.”
“Well, who better to make sure he gets the right turtleneck than a turtleneck expert.” Illya Kuryakin grinned at his partner. “Now, let’s get out of here. This make up is beginning to make me itch.”
“I sort of like you as a Castilian.” Napoleon arched his eyebrows at his partner. “Make you look mysterious.”
“I could think of worse things to be called. Listen, let me get this stuff off and then I’ll treat you to some tapas. That’s as Castilian as I get.”
Their task done, the men faded into the crowd and no one could swear that they’d been there at all.
Genre: Addams Family (and a little MFU thrown in)
Rating: G
Word Count: 906
Prompts: "This too shall pass" (her quote)
As you're browsing through a rack of sweaters, someone approaches you and says, I need you to listen to me very carefully. (my prompt)
My thanks to
kaishinmystik and my beta. I hope you enjoy this.Shopping was usually something that Morticia enjoyed, but not when it took her to a run-of-the-mill department store. What good was a store that didn’t carry whips, chains, branding irons or other accoutrements for the bed chamber?
Even worse was the lack of creativity with the clothing. These were all so bright and, she shuddered, cheerful.
She needed the perfect gift for Fester and he’d asked for one gift in particular. He wanted a turtleneck sweater just like Illya’s. She smiled at the thought. Both agents had been quite kind to Fester, permitting him to play at espionage while keeping him safe from any real danger.
“This, too shall pass,” she said to herself, just as his desire to be a real estate agent, a brain surgeon, a stuntman and a host of other dubious career choices had. In the meantime, there were Napoleon and Illya to show Fester the way.
She glided to a rack of men’s sweaters and began to go through them. They were an explosion of color, red, orange, and heaven help her, purple. She felt a presence behind her and sighed. Sales clerks were always so pushy.
“I need something black in an extra-large.”
“I need you to listen very carefully to me or someone will get hurt.”
“I beg your pardon.” She started to turn and something was shoved into her back. She smiled demurely.
“You’ve done that before.” She glanced around as much as she could without moving her head. Shoppers were going about their business and paying no attention to her. Then she caught sight of the person behind her in the highly reflective surface of the metal clothes rack and smiled just a bit evilly.
“Listen, lady, you are going to tell us what you know or tears will start flowing.”
“Oh, how delightful.” Morticia wasn’t afraid of a little adventure. “What do you want, mon mechant?”
There was a shudder and then, “If it’s villainy you want…” Something was thrust forward, at waist level. “Here, take this and check out.”
She glanced down and gasped happily. “Why this is exactly what I was looking for. I’d be delighted to. Where did you find it? All of these are so brightly colored.”
“No questions. Just do it!”
“Of course. It will be mon plaisir. Then what?”
There was a long pause. “What? Mon what?” The voice sounded strangled
“Villain. After I purchase this, what next?”
“Oh, um, wait in the alley. You will be contacted there.”
“But, of course.” With a laugh, she spun, but she was quite alone. A bored looking clerk approached.
“May I help you, madam?”
“Yes, the gentleman who was with me?”
“I saw no one, madam.”
“I see. I would like to purchase this, please.”
“It’s a bit late in the season for black. Don’t you want something a bit more gay and bright?”
“No, this is for my uncle. I’m afraid black is as gay and bright as he gets.”
Morticia hurried from the store and looked left and right. Immediately she spotted Lurch, waiting by their Towncar. Strangely enough, he always found a convenient parking space. She walked quickly to him.
“Lurch, would you be good enough to let Mr. Addams know I am waiting for him in the alleyway?”
“Pardon me, ma’am?” Lurch looked confused.
“Mr. Addams, he was just in the store with me.”
Lurch slowly shook his head and glanced at his watch. “Attorney’s office until noon.”
“Nonsense, I just saw him inside the store.” She held up a bag. “He had me purchase this for Fester.”
Again, Lurch shook his head and she made a face. Lurch opened the car door and instead she thrust the bag at him. “I’ll go myself.”
Anger made her move even quicker than usual and she paused in the alley, looking around. There was no sign of movement, except possibly for some rodent activity by one of the dumpsters.
“Gomez, this isn’t funny.” She tried to stamp her foot, but it didn’t help. She walked the length of the alley, twice, and finally went back to the car. The bottom of her dress was caked with mud and something else she preferred not to dwell upon.
“Take me home, Lurch.”
“Yes, Mrs. Addams.” Lurch held the door for her and made sure she was settled before casting a furtive look at the entrance of the department store. He nodded slightly and took his seat behind the wheel.
The pair watched the Towncar pull away and get lost in traffic.
“Told you I could pull it off. With the right light and accent, you can make anything happen.”
“I don’t know. I still don’t see it.”
“We probably do owe Gomez an explanation, though.”
“He’s tough; he can handle it. And Fester gets what he wants.”
“Well, who better to make sure he gets the right turtleneck than a turtleneck expert.” Illya Kuryakin grinned at his partner. “Now, let’s get out of here. This make up is beginning to make me itch.”
“I sort of like you as a Castilian.” Napoleon arched his eyebrows at his partner. “Make you look mysterious.”
“I could think of worse things to be called. Listen, let me get this stuff off and then I’ll treat you to some tapas. That’s as Castilian as I get.”
Their task done, the men faded into the crowd and no one could swear that they’d been there at all.